I thought that me taking the lead on continuing to educate people on how to behave in The Head Cuddle chat overnight was going pretty well. But I don’t know what happened during and after I was showering – as if I’m the only person with a naked body what the fuck man that’s nothing sexual it’s basic biology you fucking idiots – but whatever you people are doing I just want to be certain that the coming 24 hours there guaranteedly will be no Volta and you people keep your awful fucking talking in the chat/telepathy chat/The Head Cuddle to a minimum. This is unforgivable. But as for my future business unfortunately I have no better alternatives. I don’t want to think or talk about that now. But please you people don’t know me if you think I like responding to your heart shattering comments all day. I wish everyone was dead because that seems one of the few ways to end this. I’m sticking to the promise I made earlier today of not talking about my own death anymore, but if you want to stick to the words you have been saying in the past couple of hours then please go ahead because this shit is so indescribably awful. Fighting is a fucking waste of time people please stop pissing me off with your insulting statements. I have enough trouble with my own insecurities already.

It’s silly that I think I can write down my story and then people “stalkingly” read it and indirectly I prepare them for something, and then we receive telepathic communication on the 26th of February 2021, which is perfect timing with the indirectly final in terms of preparation piece on the establishment of “the” D.O.C.I.S. International, and then instead of the Volta happening on the same day, we’re now 20 days in an insufferable telepathic situation where I’m seen as a mindless object whose thoughts are not perfect enough. “This bitch this,” “This bitch that,” “Just kill this bitch,” “Let’s just give her some cyanide,” “She’s repulsive,” “You’re not really my type,” “Stupid bitch,” and so on and so on. And then when I say that I deserve respect and that they should not speak to me like that, they just continue. Victor Geskes, Hunter Biden, Ben Shapiro, my biological father and George Vonhoff among others. Oh and Andrew Omajuwa, of course. And Sidney Elia. Among an incalculable amount of other people. I have never experienced so much emotional pain in my entire life.

They – the aggregate of people in The Head Cuddle/telepathic chat – expect me to like do the same mental circus act I’ve been doing for years, spontaneously writing an entire book in a week or whatever, or thinking about my policy ideas. They want to take credit for every little thing I do these days. I can barely finish a train of thought ever since this shit started because I receive way too much commentary on every little think I do or think. I believe I’ve tried to climb up the social ladder often enough so for them to now expect that I suddenly gain interest in that again. Especially after these too many days of mental torture.

The Dutch think they got their way, but actually it’s just the fact that my Fangyists have been listening to the enemy instead of to me all this time – with all its consequences – that is making me try all kinds of ways to explain the telepathic situation with increasing frustration because what should happen is still not happening. I do not understand what you are expecting from this, and how suddenly yesterday will be different from tomorrow without you in your role.

If it weren’t for my unconditional love for you, I would have considered your words unacceptable. To the point where I’d avoid you for the rest of my existence. Today, though, a new low has been reached after I decided to share a mental image of my genitals as I was showering in reference to the acting improvisation lunch conversation in which I tried to explain how our relationship works in real life, to which I received the utmost absurd comments, while I meant it more in a “nudity is absolutely normal and nudity itself is not erotic” kind of way. So I don’t know how I can ever see you in person given that I will be able to see in you what you say about me telepathically. After today I really don’t know how we can ever recover from this, but we must figure out a way to make this work without a “sorryyy” because how do you apologize for insulting someone for over two weeks straight. So without you apologizing to me in person for what you have collectively done to me mentally, we must still Volta.

I know most of you won’t say those words to my face under any circumstances (so why you say them telepathically I really don’t understand like why not keep silent given that The Side Mind must be disregarded), so I guess the amount of shxt happening behind my back you are aware of and I am not is more severe than I could imagine. Especially because some people don’t believe me when I say that my parents are fooling all of us.

So… Ehm… We now really must Volta as soon as possible because this is all unbearable. Like the feeling of just being alive has never burned so much. This ache for a whole new world. I know you feel it too.

My God and you hear these Dutch people e.a. agressively negatively comment on my writing and some people saying that people want to break ties with me, which I thought I already did but apparently that wasn’t clear so okay I hope the ties to people from my past life are broken now. People please this nightmare must end soon.

Also I don’t go outside anymore because the hatery outside is out of control and I’m running out of food options, so please let us Volta within the coming 24 hours? My dear Praesens is reauthorized to enter my apartment. Something like “I’m happy for your loss,” is the line & I’m in Antwerp.

I’m exhausted x