Good morning liefjeee <3

At first when starting to take these pictures of Bert and I at breakfast, I was able to take pictures of him eating. But lately he has finished all that I feed him before it has sunk to the bottom of the aquarium. Yesterday he ate off the spoon. Haha this wild vamp visje. :3

What I do is put our food on the table, feed Bert, take his shot glass to the kitchen and wash it with soap right away until there’s no more soap coming off of it (because the scent is unbearable), and then I eat.

So last night I made eksi cakes.

Bert’s jar (an item I got from my mother never using it as one of the things I got permission to take along when moving out, which my mother took along from my grandmother when she moved out) is there because I want to clean that another time. More for the psychological effect. Anyway…

As I was waiting for my butter to cool (it was just on the pit I used to heat it for the picture), I mixed the egg yolks with the sugars and vanilla essence. Then I stirred in the cooled down melted butter (ongezouten roomboter), followed by adding some self-rising flour, after which I actually had the perfect consistency to make a cupcake with. But because I was going to add Fernandes later, I had to add more flour. After, I added the fluffed up egg whites.

I wanted to add as much Fernandes as I could, to make sure it’s tasteable. Using cola essence is much more preferable, because it adds a lottt more flavor while adding a lottt less moisture. The texture would have been more preferable using that. So eksi cakes 2.0 are something I’ll be making whenever I am able to. But my next cooking objective is making bojo. <3_<3

Honestly these are really the moments that I find it unfortunate that the pointless corona fascism exists and that I don’t have a network here. (Or even just not being close with this cute low-key homie of mine.) So I can’t be like: “Ey I have too many cupcakes come help me out.”

The flavors are all very subtle, though, so I don’t know if I’d do that regardless. Like it doesn’t taste bad but the flavors aren’t as “overwhelming” as I wanted them to be. I’d rather serve something in its ultimate form.

Because, as far as I know, they don’t sell zoutvlees in this country, I use diced bacon. I don’t know Belgium’s history of piracy, maybe they have their own version of salted pirate meat. I guess I could look into that, but I might have to go to a butchery for that and just like with the cheese shop I find that – with my foggy glasses – uncomfortable with the mask mandate.

And because I don’t have tomatoes I used a red bell pepper. I found some frozen selderij in my freezer – which the supermarket supplies infrequently so I end up buying much and then freezing it (and then forgetting about it haha..). My mother sent me maggi cubes. There’s the cabbage. Half an onion I had left over from the day before. (1.5 actually but I forgot to use the 0.5 in a little plastic bag.) I still have a bag full of allspice and I used my last bay leaves. And I also had a couple of frozen yellow madame jeanette peppers, of which I used one. So this was an absolute yayfood.

I’ve made enough to for dinner tonight to only have to cook some spinach and fry some fish sticks. And I’ll be snacking some rice in a few.

My next cooking adventure, like next week or something, will be making bojo. <3_<3 Bojo and eksi kuku are the main party foods you can’t get me away from. (Eksi kuku is, by the way basically the Surinamese equivalent of the Dutch “eierkoek”.)

I’ll be bed petting and having lunch x

11:20 (AM) CET

Ahahahahaha angry Flemish sounds sooooo funnyyy. That it’s about apples makes it even funnier ahahaha. x_x (opens in new tab)

This is quite the violation of privacy, but…

Haha my manz was taking a shxt but I couldn’t wait because I’m in serious hibernation mode. There are two fading spots left yay. 🙂 Hopefully Bert and I can start living normally now. After 3 water changes in 1 week… (I’m thinking about getting him a snail, but the tank is open though…)

It’s me. I want kusjes. 3: I realized it’s like over a year since I had some. The last time eh… How do I put this… (Lol look away.) The last time I was playing with the hair of someone’s face in between my legs is like twice as long ago. Ahahahaha this should be a crime.

Recently I was reading back some LilFangs.com posts and I was like: “Wow did I really just write that down?” It’s like *casual stuff blah blah* and then suddenly *very personal and detailed descriptions of sex related things*. Without a warning ahahaha. What I wrote in the previous alinea was also not that casual but, like, since I already broke the ice when it comes to that. Having gone full serial killer on the ice. Ehm, hi there. 🙂

Hi. 🙂 I eh am not as fluent in voicing sex related things as I may have seemed. I just did that to create a larger controversy about my story, so that whenever they decide to come after me, these topics are dragged along as well.

Not saying that I’m not someone with a great sexual appetite to satisfy. It’s just that in reality everything that goes before anticipation – like when you don’t know if you’re on the same page you know – makes my glasses foggy. Because if so you’re then about to see a side of me that goes so far beyond the reserved person I actually am that I’d warn you in advance.

I’d like to be that person always, but in that state my emotions are very intense and radiating. To avoid unwanted responses I tend to numb it down. (Given that it’s all emotions and beyond my reservedness I have a temper problem.) Now I’m, however, quite tired of being numbed down.

I’m very tired of being numbed down. Not in the sense that I have no control over myself anymore – I never lose control of myself. (Really if there’s one thing a true friend would know about me it’s that.) It’s more that the endless nonsensical covid propaganda and having to be on edge socially always is getting more uncomfortable over time. Also, I didn’t realize how tired I was from running around for Bert last week.

In that light I’d love to loosen up – like just speak up and if needed argue whoever wherever – and de-stress myself the only way a phat blunt, some good brandy and the surprising sensation of the sweet lips of only someone who knows what I’ve been missing could give me. (Am I an odd 24-year-old? Yes I am.)

But I’m not a magician, so I’ve been catching up on rest. I’ve gone from only leaving my bed to turn on the oven and later take food out of it to waking up at 9 every single day and running errands more than I ever have since I moved here. I consider today a very well-deserved lazy Sunday.

It was when I (ahahaha), in between naps today, laked for the zillionth time in my lifetime, that I thought damn this is all that I keep missing in my life. (Like in my virgin days of watching porn on Tumblr I thought that getting, ehm, getting yayeddd was a very prevalent aspect of being sexually active. Apparently not. </3) It’s literally all. Sure being regent right now would be great, but in terms of good living the feeling is all I miss in truly feeling alive.

In my vulture observation, by the way, it is time to strike when society has fallen. When the elite has fallen, that is. It’s just a matter of time. But the process is slow, though. I mean yes things are more tense than ever in the last 24 years (or since the last official world war), but as long as: “Oh no the world is falling apart what time do I need to clock in tomorrow let me buy some more online stocks,” is a “logical” thing to do, all I can do is stand by. Will someone take away my vulture frustration? ( – 3 -)

I’ll be cooking x

(Also haha wow “the Trump era” ends in 4 days.)

20:27 (08:27 PM) CET

Haha Bert’s distant relatives were tasty. 🙁 *whispers* Do you think he knows? I do hope and don’t hope that was the reason why he was glass surfing while I was frying them. He has these moments where he goes wild and swims up and down the glass. I hope he doesn’t have more health issues. Maybe he just didn’t like the sound of me frying and/or he recognized the scent of fish and feared being next. Maybe he has fish PTSD.

I’ve lost all feelings of urgency to build him a fence. His behavior doesn’t make it seem like he’ll try to leave his domain. And during fence making when I put it over his aquarium to see if it fits he looks up in such a way that the fence would actually incentivize him to try to jump out. So then I prefer a more more freedon-like approach to the situation.

Something I do still need to do is turn those two near rigamortus apples into tea. But right now, in honor of this lazy Sunday, I’m just going back to bed. Good night x

23:11 (11:11 PM) CET