My Deal

Excusez, I was playing Saints Row ehehe. I’m at 48% already¿ When I picked up the game I was at 8%¿ I’m yayed though. 🙂

Aside from the wait for potentially a piano (there are still deliveries in Belgium during Dutch superlockdown¿), with hopefully no explosives in it, there are no decisive events. I’m quite stuck here, that’s my deal. What I stated before about needing some time alone to play the piano is – amazing, don’t get me wrong – not crucial if there is something that is more pressing.

All I can do, given that my organization can deliver better results than the mega-government democratic system we are stuck in, is paint the picture. And then hope that someone anticipates. I think Hunter is much more likely to anticipate. But given his situation, to do that, especially now, this might be even more difficult. Not that external circumstances will make me change my mind. There where I, however, usually would remain in my position (given that all ends with me), I am now wondering if I can be of any assistance.

I wouldn’t know what I could do though. The only way I am distinguished is through these websites, so that I have available of course. Other than that, I’m just this bed catje. 🙁 Ah and I can do some wild PR, as I displayed in my lawyery.

Let me address the elephant in the room ahahahahaha. First I was like “B B B B B B” and then like “Victishe Victishe Victishe Victishe” and now “Hunter Hunter Hunter”, but this is not the same thing. I mean okay yes my crushes develop veryyy fasttt and I fall veryyy harddd, but there is a very strong parallel here that wasn’t there with the other ones, the man needs a new life and I need a Praesens. And also, he is soo cuddlyyy. <3_<3 We (or just I yes) will likely have to live like Victishe never existed in this story… Which can be done in the blink of an eye, but I do need answers before being able to do that with my mind at ease. (Thierry Iustis or Thierry Praesens?)

The bigger elephant is that without knowing someone I just say: “You now will sleep next to me for the rest of your existence. 😀 ” out of nowhere. Though the basis of our connection is founded in having similar interests, similar beliefs and similar aspirations, that stays a gamble. But I’m low maintenance, right? Or maybe not, but very bearable, right? Honestly I don’t understand why no one tries. Okay people try. I guess no one gets past my emotional (or emotionless, better said) barrier. (I just dislike small talk so much that I very actively avoid and block small talk. Mask mandates help with that too because now I just mumble and squint “smile” and continue walking.) But Hunter can get past the barrier, I am 100% sure. 😀 (My baby alsooo.)

The main issue now, aside from corona *sigh*, is that my man is being turned upside down (based on what exactly¿ (I mean yes there are all these allegations, but where did that start¿ Not with the laptop, right……….??? Because if that’s true then this is 100% smear)). We can’t form an alliance if he is double confined. 🙁 I mean we could but that would cause potentially convenient hassle?

He would have to Volta. Because otherwise all the effort I put into keeping my business out of the mainstream would have been for nothing. What is convenient about the investigation thingy now is that his story has resurfaced and with that there is again the opportunity to expose all errors in the system all at once.

I don’t know his… y… your… situation well enough to be able to think along accurately. But there are plenty reasons for you to come here. 😀 You are very welcome here. (Had I already mentioned that?) Haha I can’t think straight anymore because of kusjes. Please let this not be another me typing wild things that never happen. Kusje? 😀

Had I already mentioned that you could give me clothes and stuff by being my postman? (Big packages can be brought to the door right¿) Then I also don’t have to worry about being potato. 😀 Had I already mentioned that or was that only in my head…?

Anywayyy I’m going to do my don’t-think-this-is-actually-a-good-night-routine night routine haha… Good nighttt liefjeee <3

03:15 (AM) CET

Omg breaking newsss!!!


(At least then the direction would be clear haha…)

03:40 (AM) CET

Other breaking news is that I was able to do jumping jacks and stuff again without my foot hurting extremely much. It’s still not optimal, but enormous progress has been made. 🙂

Now I showerr.

03:57 (AM) CET

Now I eat something light

04:36 (AM) CET

Now I brush teeth (wet brush before and after applying toothpaste that is) while watching Emma Chamberlain video

I will watch the rest and share my random reactions tomorrow, because meanwhile I’m in bed being super tired. Soo good night for real. <3

05:05 (AM) CET

Heyy liefjeee <3

The window cleaners woke me up earlier today because I mistook the sound for something else. Then, when they were gone – my curtains were closed but still I didn’t want to risk flashing nudity like that – I emptied my bladder, opened my windows,

I tiny spoon yogurted (and think plant is pretty even when it’s dying)

and now I’m back in bed. I will react to video later – it is something I genuinely look forward to – but first I will spend some time hugging my pillow (which is what I do post yogurt most of the time) until my need for social silence and serious life contemplation wanes. (If you were here in person that mood would be less impactful I’m sure. <3 )

12:57 (PM) CET

I fell asleep again ehehe. :$ Afterwards I flicked on the oven (to warm up 2 pieces of left over supplí), took some beef out of the freezer (to make pizza carne later 😀 ) and forked out the last bit of salad I had left over directly from the metal bowl I kept it in. Now I’m back in bed, where it’s less cold. I will write video reaction now. 🙂

15:55 (03:55 PM) CET

This is how I make notes when I’m in bed mode.
I made a lottt of notesss.

It is in direct synchronicity with all of the video so I’m not using time stamps. Here is my reaction to the video:

Intro – You have heard me complain about “influencer” careers for years. They still concern me. It still concerns me that for the generations after Y that if you’re not a YouTuber, streamer, someone with an OnlyFans account or anything else online (advertising for others or reselling Chinese products) you’ll likely never be able to move out of your parents’ house. (It is the main reason why I do not want children.)

But there where most of the youth is like “Yeah lame whatever dude Netflix Netflix Netflix Netflix Netflix”, Emma seems to be interested in things and willing to put effort in things, which is why I like her. Anddd she loves charcuterie too so how can I not like her?If the new internet bubble were to burst, and let’s say D.O.C.I.S. International does its thing, I think she has the capacity to do something groundbreaking in the field of business or entertainment. (About Johnny, Jarad and Grayson, who are the only other people I follow who are younger than I if I’m correct, I think in a similar way.) If I didn’t see that potential, I would not be following her.

People like simple things. That is why she is wayyy more popular than Ben Shapiro for example. When I want to tune out of the hell that is our political reality, I watch her videos. (Because people who are in the mainstream and heavily sponsored may not say anything about that. (Though she is, like I am, living in a directly visible manifestation of it.)) I say simple things but she has, by the way, far more financial responsibilities than I do and if I’m correct she is the same age as my sister who is 5 years younger than I.

Talking about simple things draws a bigger crowd than talking about complex things. (Unfortunately I’m too controversial by nature to make money in a similar way.) The popular things she often mentions are things I only know are popular because she has mentioned it. (And by the way I used to want to move to California but I had a romanticized idea of it. I’ve learnt that it is more of an overpopulated slum than the big cities in the Netherlands are. I need my peace so I changed my mind.) Just like ’s Gravenland, Kievitwijk is not a very fashionable area (though I like the Jew swag ngl), so again I didn’t know that these were the current trends. But ye I will thus be talking about fashion trends via Emma Chamberlain reacting on fashion trends. In writing.

Having an opinion about clothing – I like it when people wear what makes them feel comfortable. If someone is wearing something that I don’t like, I would not share that thought. Also seeing that people are wearing something they feel comfortable in instantly looks good on them. The other way around, though, I have very often had complaints about my cleavage being too much or being dressed too formal or not being dressed my age (that I dress “too old”) or being dressed too nonchalant and though most people’s opinions do not interest me at all, I do, in the last couple of years of my life, try to dress in such a way that people won’t whine about it because their opinions annoy me.

If I were a fashion influential, though, I would like to see formal clothing become cool again (like a cool everyday thing) and see it evolve (as in new formal styles). I personally prefer clothing that induces someone to show respect rather than give a fist bump. But most styles I like are not available in my price range. 🙁 (Like the days that I could take my parents shopping are over. Or regardless I’m just too old for that now…)

Low jeans – Exactly. If someone can wear low jeans then I won’t think of that negatively, but personally I have the same ass crack PTSD when it comes to low jeans. I usually only buy mid rise or high rise jeans (though I don’t have the belly for high rise jeans).

Baguette bags – Though fanny packs are more practical, I often used to wear baguette bags when going out. They are indeed very convenient and I prefer that over stuffing my phone and lip stick and bank card and the key to the locker in which my jacket is/wardrobe ticket in my pockets. I used to buy new clothes for every special event I went to. But now I’ve thrown away and given away so much that I literally have like 5 bags in total and none of them is a baguette bag. When it comes to elegance, I prefer clutches over baguette bags, but for stylish convenience I prefer a baguette bag over anything.

Painted jeans – This sounds like something I could have liked 15 years ago. I feel too old for painted jeans, though someone older than I could slay painted jeans I guess if that’s comfortable for them. As for me wanting to see the standard evolve towards the formal, painted jeans don’t fit that idea.

Sweater vests – They seem nerdy cute. (I think typical nerds are cute.) Though I don’t own one, I could see myself wear one with bare arms if it were tight fitting because my chest would otherwise make me look like a bag of potatoes. I used to wear long sleeves under short sleeved things but now that makes me associate that with puberty too much so I don’t do that anymore.

Baggy jeans – Personally, I find that baggy jeans don’t suit my figure because if it’s not accentuated I look overweight (overaccentuating is a nightmare for me too though). But even though I’d like to see things head to the formal, I think a sleeveless crop top, baggy jeans, big sneakers and a bandana could look very cute as a style.

Layering clothes – Layering clothes is an absolute must over here. I agree that well layered clothes look very nice. I don’t understand how someone cannot like layered clothes honestly.

Uggs – A friend of mine let me wear her uggs once I don’t remember why. But I remember that they were extremelyyyyyy comfortable. Like walking on clouds or basically outdoor pantoffels. (They also have indoor pantoffels I saw. I’d definitely get those if that were possible haha unfortunately I’ve been conditioned to be low maintenance.) But if I’d be wearing them outside I’d feel like I’m on rock bottom or something like I consider them the celeb on rock bottom kind of shoes and therefore (not that I feel like/am a celeb of course it’s just about the principle) you won’t catch me wearing ugg boots. (I remember when “Ugg boots for men?” was THE discussion topic and though I always say wear what you find comfortable, if a man wears ugg boots I assume that he is gay. No further connotation, it just is what it is.)

Yoga pants – I think yoga pants are sexy. Though I prefer clothes to be worn for the occasion they’re made for, so like sometimes when I saw girls wear yoga pants to school I used to think/feel that that’s just rude for some reason, yoga pants for yoga or loungewear are yayed.

New Balance shoes – All the “cool” kids (literally e-ve-ry single one of them) in my high school used to wear New Balance shoes. People would be like “I have a new pairrr” and get these “Woaaah” reactions. I have never understood this trend. They look like shoes you can buy at the supermarket. They all look the same. I’ve never heard a sound effect more accurate. There is nothing spectacular about these shoes. It is one of the most ridiculous trends of all time, in my opinion (it is on the same list as the harlem shake and gangnam style. Ye I think it’s #1 harlem shake #2 gangnam style #3 new balance shoes).

Meanwhile baeee is hereee:

Egirl/eboy fashion – I’ve never heard of this before. If I’m saying that this looks like a goth/emo kind of style that would likely be considered a great sin. Regardless, I feel nothing for this style.

Random tangent: I did used to like the scene type of style, though my further interests caused me to (luckily, in retrospect) not fit in with the scene crowd. And before that when I had this bob cut with a lock of hair that used to be a sideways bang but went in front of my eye later on and used to wear a lot of all-black clothing, people used to think I was emo.

Cow print – I think cow print is the most “radical” looking animal print someone can wear. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone wear cow print in real life (as in in person before my eyes). I’m inclined to think that someone who wears cow print is a leftist.

Socks and sandals – We used to make fun of my father for wearing socks and sandals. But when they’re worn under shorts that end just above the knee (or over the knee for men), a belt and a t-shirt or short sleeved button-up shirt that is tucked in, I think it can be cute and stylish. I really want to bother my baby with excessive nerd style suggestions. (Before you know it you’d catch him with a hat with a propeller on it. Muhahahahaaa so adorable. :3 )

Side-tracking: I know excessive burping is one of Emma’s signature things, and though this makes me sad, I am not condemning it. And though it’s normal in the sense that who has never burped in their entire existence, one’s body burping or farting is a sign that it is fighting something. I think the aim of being healthy should be to have your body not do these things (or at least not so extremely much, though for her it’s becoming less I’ve noticed). For healthy living in the context of my aspirations, that is what I am striving towards (on policy level). (Am I the only person who around someone attractive has one’s body acting up like that twice as much? (I tend to suppress it though haha……….))

Patchwork jeans – Patchwork jeans are another one of those things that I would have liked “back in the day” (*sigh* I don’t know why I’m making myself sound old because I’m not old at all but my soul has aged quite a lot though), but now I’d say again I’d assume the wearer would be a GroenLinks voter and it is opposite the direction I’d like to see fashion move towards.

Prepping pizza dough and cooking beef mince breakkk x

20:03 (08:03 PM) CET

Before I got up, again, I spent like an hour staring at the ceiling. Then I washed dishes. Meanwhile I’ve made dough.

Can somebody tell me how…
…not to fxck up the last part when dicing onions?

It al-ways half slips from underneath my fingers and the rest then doesn’t become as thinly sliced either.

Yayed, though wettt.

I think I’ll leave the rest of my fashion commentary for tomorrow. The remainder of the day/nighy I’ll likely spend playing Saints Row and doing my little night routine (given that my foot is basically back to normal – though some moments I still do have these episodes of pain where I do need the stick – I can go back to squatting with weights yay 😀 ), after dinner with my baby of courseeeeeee. Fun fact: it’s hard for me to watch my baby on full screen because his overwhelming handsomeness gives me shortness of breath.

My pizza is readyay x

23:00 (11:00 PM) CET

*Asthma attack*

23:30 (11:30 PM) CET

Photo by Miguel Á. Padriñán from Pexels

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