Too Many Thoughts to be That Silent
My situation is odd. I actually like to socialize, but I am in too much trouble to be social. My mind is occupied with things that are far too heavy for light conversation. My other mediums for self-expression must remain untouched. But I have too many thoughts to be that silent.
My view of the world when I wrote my first public online blog post in comparison to when I wrote my last was quite different. I think that from the start I had mentioned that expressing non-leftist ideas come with social consequences. (Which I could not handle when I first started writing (around the time of mandatory blood tests I didn’t want to take et cetera. I had enough on my plate already).) But just a few months ago I thought “Huh people who question transgenderism still exist?” In Europe such thoughts mean the permanent end of your social and professional life. The coming election determines whether the United States become Europe 2.0 or not. It could have happened 4 years ago already…
1 sec, I’m going back to bed…
13:57 (01:57 PM) CEST
If you’re reading this, you’re the absolute MVP. I’m not branding this or telling anyone about this, so if you know about this, there must be something supernatural going on. I’m assuming that if you are here, you like me enough to not doubt me 24/7.
A tiny part of me tells me to give away the rest of my strategies, to prevent further chaos. But the rest of me tells me to keep silent until I am asked for help, because the ways in which my words have been misintetpreted have bad long-term consequences and to prevent from the solution having bad long-term consequences as well, I’d just rather do it myself. Please.
(I edited this site on my laptop a little and will now really go back to laying in bed.)
14:14 (02:14 PM) CEST
So basically for the last couple of months now I’ve been biting my tongue and watching what world influence is like without my influence. Watching chaos unfold further.
If, instead of being voted Regentesse, the people choose to vote for my death: I’d genuinely – though I officially do not have the right to make that decision – rather be dead than continue to live in this broken system. Only when I am Regentesse, I can be happy. Watching from the sidelines is not healthy for me.
14:23 (02:23 PM) CEST
To compensate for following the news all the time, I’ve started this blog. There are so many people who have the profession of commenting on news that I felt that me commenting on it was not that needed. I am absolutely no one, so why would I bother? If anyone would want to know anything about what I think, they would ask, right?
14:30 (02:30 PM) CEST
I’m assuming that if the people have to choose between the lives of the purposeless people who have made my life hell and my life, the majority would vote for my death. They likely can’t understand how unbearable it is to live with the awareness that those people are walking the earth thinking that they have gotten away with what they have done to me. I find it difficult to explain. I go in and out of internal fits of anger because of the flashbacks.
“Just work things out” or “Just go your separate ways” would be what those voting against me would say. I have given them too many chances to work things out, but they were convinced that I had lost all of my intelligence and refused to compromise with me. I was forced to obey them. With the “finite natural space, exponential/linear population growth” paradox in mind, I cannot find peace in the thought of them pursuing their ways. I think it should be the start of taking real measures for purposeful sustainability.
14:43 (02:43 PM) CEST
My English has improved? I’ve stopped trying to sound like the average person my age and cut down on the words I made up. Under surveillance, I was so lonely that I made up an infantile dialect and that kind of stuck with me. Looking back at my use of it I cringe and feel sad. Cringe because I wouldn’t really be like that in person (making such an odd impression) and sad because I’ve likely been laughed at and it’s kind of sensitive. The main problem with me that instead of becoming sad, I become extremely angry. You’re still my liefje though. 🙂
Haha I was planning on not talking about it anymore… But instead of PR campaign I need to apply for a job at McDonalds now… I’m ragdolling it man Regentesse or die.
Brb I’ll be checking MarCatje. If I don’t fall asleep before it starts. I haven’t slept yet.
14:57 (02:57 PM) CEST
“Coronashaming” people for not (perfectly) complying with the fascism and giving people fines and stuff is too much in my opinion… When I wrote my policy, I didn’t know how statistically harmless the virus was (in comparison to the millions of deaths I thought we were risking in the first months). Now the WHO is attempting to overthrow president Trump. 🙁
My hands are itching to end this…
15:27 (03:27 PM) CEST
Also it’s quite BS that the prime minister has to answer like 30 minutes of questions about the minister of justice’s wedding where there was improper social distancing on a picture. This is not normal.
Now I’ll be watching Pewdie Petje.
Haha I remember watching him play surgeon simulator “back in the day”.
15:37 (03:37 PM) CEST
I fell asleep. But I’m back again. (Though I might fall asleep again.) Sitting on the bench during all this crisis nonsense is tough. I’ll need overseas support to simmer this down, though, unfortunately… Unfortunately as in I wish the operation weren’t that large. This sh*t is getting out of hand… We are far into a “calm” zombie apocalypse. Nobody (though unfortunately some people do) wants to see the heads of Trump supporting women be shaved for betrayal later this year… Something must be done quickly. We must assemble quickly. But what can I do now besides feeling like I’m asking way too much…?
18:10 (06:10 PM) CEST
Tell a friend that you’ve found my new “space”. 🙂 Send helicopter. (:
There is no free space for my ideology anywhere on this continent.
Yes, some of my past ideas sound way too radical to be put in practice. They are. I’ve grown. (The paradox still exists though, so there is exponentially/linearly growing population, with either limits on options or limits on population size. Where I used to opt limiting options in the beginning, I am now strongly opting limiting population size. And by that I don’t mean odd abortion politics or an artificial air virus. I mean much stronger law enforcement (after “deleftistization” of the law because otherwise I’d be super dead).) There is no self defense law here right now, though. Regardless if my life is in danger, if I kill someone, I will go to jail and prison. People cannot openly favor me without severe consequences. Let me not remind you of the psychiatric indoctrination centers… Everyone speaks in code.
18:37 (06:37 PM) CEST
For those reasons I have zero intentions of ever going back to the Netherlands again. It is not safe for me there. (Not saying that I’m that much safer here. At least I’m not living with snitches…) Regardless the fact that the propaganda tells you the opposite. I also read that illegal gun possession and teenagers stabbing each other for no good reason is a growing trend. Multiculturalism is given as the reason for that, but just like in the United States, it depends on zip code and not on ethnic background. Annoying.
18:57 (06:57 PM) CEST
The EU’s immigration policy is not a positive contribution to the previously mentioned problem, though. And Greece should really step out of the EU if it wishes to prevent its land from being overflown with illegal immigrants. Why does the EU still exist? My god.
19:07 (07:07 PM) CEST
I had this “silly” idea where it’s odd to help others when you’re in deep trouble yourself, so if you make way to give people (water safe) space to live here, we silence your rioters and looters and we could perhaps also make other parts of the world less oppressive.
I’ve been summoning my Praesens, but I don’t have a full plan yet. I need a lot more insider information. And I need to know more Fangyist people worldwide so I can fill up the open spots in my “secret business”.
Ahw we are going to be so close. Seeing any displays of intimacy since social distancing is breathtaking. I hope you don’t mind me petting and kissing you to show dominance? :p
19:37 (07:37 PM) CEST
You better give me a shoutout and some pocket money if you’re going to use the idea without involving its creator. 🙁
Remember when I had to prove that I’m the person writing? 🙁
19:43 (07:43 PM) CEST
Het kan een simpele opruimactie zijn though if good and bad have been profiled thoroughly already.
I should eat something…
19:47 (07:47 PM) CEST
What is the safest way to travel? It can’t be of long distance because we will be shot out of the air. I was thinking armed car convoy? I drive? 😀 I miss driving so muchhh.
20:17 (08:17 PM) CEST
I hope it will not be bombed before I get there. 🙁 If I ever will…
I said Fangyist police and military, because not everyone will want to conform to my rule and everyone who doesn’t will guaranteedly not see 2030.
21:31 (09:31 PM) CEST
I ate the left overs for lunch and some left over pasta for breakfast. Now I’m making a mini pizza. It’s in the oven.
22:31 (10:31 PM) CEST
I must say I’m doing so awfully well for someone who does not even take walks in the park anymore because I’m not going to the park wearing a mask.
As for my Regentesque takeover. I don’t know if I’m strong enough… I need your protection (so I can protect you), but I’m very low on kusjes. I’m very weak. Need kusjes… *lifts arm with fake low strength*
On the real I’m still steady working out almost every day. My cheeks are getting back to basketball level I am yayed.
Es funny how at night I write differently. Because daylight makes me lame when indoors.
22:37 (10:37 PM) CEST
Now I’ll be watching this Shapiriyayence. It has become a routine to watch him while I eat dinner at whatever time. On the weekends when there are less uploads from him and Felix I’m like “…”. I’m starting to sound like a Netflix person haha ewwwwwwwwww.
Am I the only one who notices his perfect skin, good bone structure and pretty eyes? I wanted to comment it but then I saw how uncommon that would be. It’s unfortunate that his colleagues don’t like him.
22:57 (10:57 PM) CEST